“Epic Rap Battles of History (ERB) – Elon Musk vs Mark Zuckerberg (Lyrics)”
Epic Rap Battle of History!
[Verse 1: Elon Musk]
Call me Musk (uh!), I’m here to help (yeah!)
Flush a Zuckerturd for humanity’s health
I’m making brilliant innovations in a race against the dark ages
You provide a place to discover your aunt’s kinda racist
Got called to Senate (data hack)
You acted so robotic Star Trek’s like
“We need Lieutenant Data back!”
I’m Tony Stark with a James Bond sprinkle tossed in
And I’ve been flossing since you double-crossed the Winklevoss Twins
[Verse 2: Mark Zuckerberg]
Hmm, Data was a lieutenant-commander, to start
But, I wouldn’t expect you to understand an org chart
See, here’s mine: I’m at the top, boss (boss)
And I’m spitting fire like I’m hot (hot) sauce. (sauce!)
You can’t sneak up on Zuck. I don’t even fucking blink!
I’m the CEO of KNOWING WHAT YOU THINK, INC
I’ve been looking up your family. It gets dark, my god!
Couldn’t clean your daddy’s laundry with apar-Tide-pods
Watch me, Oculus, Instagram, WhatsApp (post!)
I’m cleaning up like a Wet-nap! (boast!)
I drive around in a hatchback (beep beep!)
I’ll end your story like Snapchat (ghost!)
Elon you’re nothing but an attention-seeking outcast
And your star is faded like you on a podcast
[Verse 3: Elon Musk]
Dope smoking with Joe Rogan don’t slow-motion my pace, man
When I’m conquering MySpace, it’s actual space, man!
I got a loan from the White House (boom)
Sent that shit straight to the moon
Now I’m taking mankind to Mars but for your kind man?
I ain’t got room
Your platform only launches depression
Who put the elf with no friends in charge of human connection? (hey)
You claim to be some kind of saint! But you ain’t!
Why don’t you lean in and FaceMatch my musky Dutch taint (grrr)
I’m destined to rep Earth!
You sold us out for some net worth!
Your site got so many Russian bots
They should call it the social Nyet-work
[Verse 4: Mark Zuckerberg]
Ooh, bots! I know A.I. gets you tweeting
I read your feed while eating toast from robot Morgan Freeman
You need to start sleeping. We can all see you’re tired
You’re about to be CE-Oh-shit! He got fired! (ooh!)
You’ve got all these companies but they’re all incomplete
I’ve got one and I fold money: income, pleat
Set your self-driving truck to haul your ass home
Cause this battle’s like Paypal
YOU GOT OWNED!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!